'Don't be open minded, your brain will fall out'

'email returned to sender, not enough voltage'

'shin-a device for finding furniture in the dark'

'a flying saucer occurs when a nudist spills his coffee'

'sure there have been deaths and injuries in boxing, but none of them serious'

Now some quotes from good old george bush quotes...

'we need an energy bill which encourages consumption'

'this foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating'

'i know how difficult it is to put food on you family'

''i'm the master of low expectations'

'I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe — I believe what I believe is right'

'Can we win? I don't think you can win it'

'I trust God speaks through me. Without that, I couldn't do my job'

'If this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I'm the dictator'

'Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we'

'My answer is bring them on'

'America will never seek a permission slip to defend the security of our people'

'Americans are rising to the tasks of history, and they expect the same of us'

'Every nation in every region now has a decision to make. Either you are with us, or you are with the terrorists'

'Free nations are peaceful nations. Free nations don't attack each other. Free nations don't develop weapons of mass destruction'

'Freedom itself was attacked this morning by a faceless coward, and freedom will be defended'

'I am mindful not only of preserving executive powers for myself, but for predecessors as well'

'I believe a marriage is between a man and a woman'

Isn't he great? not!